During the 2005 season of American Idol, a young woman by the name of Paula Goodspeed appeared before the judges to perform her rendition of “Proud Mary.” Prior to performing in front of Paula Abdul, Simon Cowell and Randy Jackson, Goodspeed revealed in an interview with Ryan Seacrest, “I really like Paula Abdul a lot. She’s really cool.” The initial statement, which seems relatively harmless, is then followed by shots of several of Goodspeed’s “life-size” drawings of Abdul. “I’ve been drawing ever since I was a little kid, and my first drawing was of Paula Abdul.” This second revelation, probably should have been just enough to make the producers of the hit show question whether this “fan” should be placed in a situation in which she was going to meet and be judged by Abdul, especially when her singing would more aptly be described as caterwauling.
Once in front of the judges, Abdul refrained from making any outright negative commentary, while Simon Cowell unleashed the downpour of ridicule for which he is famous, taking a swing at her voice and her braces with one “foul” swoop.
It was this brief encounter between Abdul and Goodspeed that many believe led to Goodspeed’s suicide on November 11, 2008. Goodspeed, 30, is believed to have overdosed on prescription medication while sitting in her car parked in front of Abdul’s L.A. home. A photograph of Abdul hung from the review mirror and Goodspeed’s license plate red “ABL LV”
Psychoanalyst Bethany Marshall explained to ABC News that Goodspeed “may have felt that her life as she knew it was over simply because she was criticized on this show.” She goes on to describe that programs such as American Idol can lead to trouble. “If you have a personality disordered, fragile, vulnerable contestant, who is very sensitive to criticism, you put the image of them being criticized on YouTube, on TMZ, plastered in front of millions of people, they are not Teflon coated, they cannot handle it.”
Despite reports from one of Abdul’s neighbor’s stating that she’d seen a woman sitting in Goodspeed’s car in front of Abdul’s house during the early mornings leading up to the suicide and Abdul’s claim on Barbara Walters’ US Radio show that Goodspeed was an obsessive fan who’d been sending her “disturbing” letters for 18 years and who had followed her home after her audition on American Idol, some members of Goodspeed’s family insist that she was not a stalker.
Since the suicide, Abdul has also claimed that she pleaded with the producers not to allow Goodspeed on the show and says that they paid no attention to her request, insisting that “it would make good television.” And when Walters asked her why she remained on the show if she felt that she was being endangered, she answered that it was because she was “under contract.”
-Justine Bayod Espoz, Marketing Manager for Picore Worldwide